I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
