Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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