i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
