Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
