So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
