If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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