i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
