Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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