Apparently you make a good broom.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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