Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
