NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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