How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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