It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
