mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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