Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
