yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
