K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
