Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
