i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
two words...techno handjob
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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