you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
True strength comes from lack of pants
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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