so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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