he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
