Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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