I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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