if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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