physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
