i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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