How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
