dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
