Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
