i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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