The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I pour the whiskey from now on
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