Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
