just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
