don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
