yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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