I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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