I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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