$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just pee around me
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
