I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think my fart just growled at me.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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