Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
