There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
