Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
