due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
