It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
