What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
