so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
