her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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