I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
