1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
