It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
