I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize