shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
