when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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