From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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