I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
