i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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