i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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