My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
