just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
