so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
