ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
